Hunger Games Parody!
by TheUnicornCorral
Summary: A collection of one-shot skits I wrote, for a parody of the Hunger Games...flames will make s'mores!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Hunger Games, all rights reserved to Suzanne Collins…**

**A/N- these are a collection of skits I wrote to parody the Hunger Games, And just so you know, I wrote them to become videos, and I'm still planning on it. So if anybody steals them, I'll hunt you down! Just kidding, just kidding…..but really.**

**And now for a little random tidbit because chapters of author notes are prohibited!**

Katniss- Wow. I'm being made fun of in this.

Peeta- Same.

Katniss- that stinks.

Peeta- Yup.


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss and Gale on Rock

Katniss- sooo…

Gale- sooo…

(Both sit in awkward silence for a minute)

Katniss- so what did you kill today?

Gale- you know, the usual. (Counting off fingers) pregnant squirrel, weird Disney looking deer

Katniss-Bambi?

Gale- that's the one. Lets see here, oh yeah! And the Easter bunny, Alvin and the chipmunks

Katniss-All 3?

Gale- HECK YAH! Oh right! And the squeakettes!

Katniss- SQUEAKETTES? How did you get them! I've been tracking them for months!

Gale- (shrugs) all it took was a little glitter

Katniss- oh. Glitter. Um, well it actually kind of makes sense….

Gale- yah

(more awkward silence)

Katniss- wanna berry? (holding out in hand) I have a lot to spare (shows collection)

Gale-Are they any good?

Katniss- (puts some in mouth) yah.

Gale-ok (takes berry) thanks. (eats) oh. This is actually pretty good. Have any more?

Katniss- (chewing) no

Gale- what? But you just had, like, an entire bowl!

Katniss- (shrugs)

Gale-(horrified face)


	3. Chapter 3

Capitol Luxuries

(in Madge's doorway with Katniss and Gale)

Madge -Well, at least if I have to go to the capitol, I'll be dressed well. Have you heard the rumors though Katniss?

Katniss-Rumors? What rumors? About what?

Madge-(leans in closer) Well, apparently the capitol has some wonderful things we can only imagine. Like foods called spray cheese.

(vision of District 4 girl devouring spray cheese on crackers)

Madge-Noodles.

(vision of district 6 girl slurping up noodles)

Madge-and…Cheeseburgers?

Katniss-Cheeseburgers?

Madge-Cheeseburgers.

Gale-Cheeseburgers!

(Girls stare at Gale)

Gale-Sorry…got caught up in the moment.

(vision of District 10 boy devouring cheeseburgers)

Katniss- (dreamily) wow.


	4. Chapter 4

Gale After Reaping

Gale-I was just at the reaping.

Voiceover-Yeah. How did it go?

Gale- I…I….I didn't feel anything!

Voiceover-Yeah

Gale-I feel funny.

Voiceover-It kinda felt good, didn't it?

Gale-I…Is this real life?

Voiceover-Yeah, this is real life

Gale-oh, ok. (blanks out) Ok now, I, I've two fingers

Voiceover-Good!

Gale-Four fingers?

Voiceover-Four fingers

Gale-(starts to put fingers in mouth)

Voiceover-NO DON"T DO THAT! YOUR HANDS HAVE GERMS!

David-I can't see anything

Voiceover-yes you can

Gale- (sits up and roars)

Voiceover- You're scaring away the game. Stay on your rock.

Gale- I don't feel tired

Voiceover-You don't?

Gale- nah, nah

Voiceover- No?

Gale-You have four eyes.

Voiceover-Yeah

Gale-I feel funny (pause) why is this happening to me?

Voiceover- it's ok man, just depression

Gale-Is this gonna be forever?

Voiceover-No (laughs) no it wont be forever

Gale-argh.


	5. Chapter 5

Katniss and Rue in Trees

Katniss- (Walking through woods, looking for game)

(Branch snaps)

Katniss-(looks up, sees a glimpse of Rue in trees before she disappears) I can see you Rue!

Rue-(Comes Out Completely) You didn't see anything! (swiping hand in front of face) (hides again)

Katniss-(confused) Um….Wow….That was just wierd


	6. Chapter 6

Finally Peeta

Caesar Flickerman- (voiceover) Congratulations remaining six competitors! I am pleased to inform you that a rule has just recently been changed in the games this year. Both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last 2 standing. Happy hunger games, and May the odds be ever in your favor!

(During voiceover, video of remaining six tributes

(Cato, Thresh, Clove Foxface, Peeta and Katniss) reactions)

Katniss- (looks crazed) PPEEETTTTTAAAAAA (Then adds unemotionally) bread (pulls out bread, and smells deeply with eyes closed)

(Cato, Thresh and Clove swarm around Katniss and take all but ½ of a pita, while Katniss screams indignantly)

Katniss- UUGHH (Takes last half, sighs) oh well (Slowly brings bread to mouth)

Foxface-(jumps out and takes rest of bread) THANKS TOOL! (Smacks butt, and runs away)

Katniss- OH COME ON!


	7. Chapter 7

Katniss and Peeta with Stew

Peeta- OH MY GOSH! This stew is just so good!

Katniss-Tell me about it! Sometimes I wish I just had a hose, and (turns to look at Peeta)

Peeta- (scared, horrified, frightened, blank face)

Katniss- never mind… forget it

Peeta- Ummmm… can I just have another serving? (holds out empty, small bowl)

Katniss- NO! you can't handle the flavor!

Peeta- (slowly and dramatically starts crying, and curls up into ball)


	8. Chapter 8

Foxface With Backpack out of Cornucopia

(Feast table sitting there, covered with tablecloth)

(Close shot on Katniss', Clove's, Cato's, and Thresh's faces, in shrubs)

Foxface- 9jumps out from under table, grabs her pack) WOOO! OH YEAH! IN YO FACES! (jumping/dancing around, slapping butt, rubbing pack on face)

(See Katniss', Clove's, Cato's, and Thresh's horrified faces)

Foxface- (Running away)


	9. Chapter 9

Katniss' Plant

Peeta-Hey Katniss! I found another one of those plants you picking us food from before! (picks a few leaves, and pops them in mouth) hmmmm.

Katniss-Oh my gosh.

Peeta-Well, it's a bit tangier than I remember. Mint, maybe? No, no. Rosemary? Parsley?

Katniss-YOU POOPHEAD! THAT WAS POISON IVY!

Peeta-Oh. Um. OOOHHHHH ( moaning) I don't feel so good…

Katniss- (runs over to Peeta, and hits back) EXPEL OF THE FOUL ITEM! (chanting)


	10. Chapter 10

Interview with Ms. Everdeen

Caesar Flickerman-So, Ms Everdeen. How's it going?

Ms. Everdeen- Very well, thank you

Caesar Flickerman- So…um…rumors have flown around

Ms. Everdeen- (interrupting out of corner of mouth) shoot! Paparazzi found out about that stupid, little

Caesar Flickerman- (interrupting) NO! No, no, no, no, not that.

Ms. Everdeen- (shocked, embarrassed) Oh, yeah. I know, yeah, yeah, Just joking, he he. He he. Yeah…

Caesar Flickerman- ANYWAY, I was going to say rumors have flown around about um…you…um…being upset after your husband and daughters….er…demises

Ms. Everdeen- (suddenly distracted) Er…um… I guess you could say that

(Flashback of Ms. Everdeen on floor pigging out on ice cream, devil dogs, Twinkies, etc. while sobbing and crying noooo!)

Caesar Flickerman- So…um…interesting flashback. Did I mention I brush my teeth and curl my hair every morning? (makes cuckoo sign at Ms. Everdeen)

Ms. Everdeen- (stony face, strong, serious) not amused Mr. Caesar. Not amused.

Caesar Flickerman- Of course, of course, oh is that my mother calling? BYE! (runs out, afraid, urgent, knocks over camera as runs)

(camera now facing floor, or maybe wall. Don't see upper half of people)

Ms. Everdeen- (off camera) DON'T BE A COWARD!


	11. Chapter 11

Nature's Restroom

Katniss Everdeen- (wandering woods)

(Grunting noise)

District 10 boy- dang leaves! (Rustling)

(See district 10 boys head)

(Plopping sound)

Katniss Everdeen- (shudders)


	12. Chapter 12

Thresh's Field

Katniss Everdeen- (lying next to Peeta, who is asleep in cave) **voiceover**- so there's Cato, Foxface, Clove, and Thresh still out there. Hmm…I wonder how Thresh survives in his field?

**Vision**

(Thresh partying, at gourmet restaurants, bowling, etc.)

(Back to Katniss)

Katniss Everdeen- (shakes awake Peeta) (As if in trance) We need to find Thresh!


	13. Chapter 13

District 1 Interview

Caesar Flickerman- Hello there, and let's welcome our 74th Hunger Games district 1 tributes, Glimmer and Marvel!

Glimmer-What do you want

Caesar Flickerman- Well, I'm just interviewing you.

Glimmer- Well get on with it!

Caesar Flickerman- Um….ok,,,jeez….so what did you think of Katniss the first time you saw her?

Glimmer- She's so stupid! That little sucker! Stupid tracker jackers… but when I first saw her, I already hated her guts!

*flashback*

Glimmer- (holding Katniss' face in hands) Aw, such a pretty face…

*different angle*

Glimmer- THAT ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE!

Glimmer and Marvel- Oooohhh….burn!

*end flashback*

Glimmer- (still ranting, etc. etc. insulting Katniss)

Everyone else- (trying to calm her)

Glimmer- (screams on the top of her lungs)

*everything goes pitch black*

Caesar Flickerman- You broke it.

Glimmer- Broke what?

Caesar Flickerman- Everything.

Glimmer- Oh...heh heh…whoops


	14. Chapter 14

The Hair Dryer

Katniss- (showering, see shoulders and up, shampoo, blah…)

Katniss- (steps out)

Katniss- Oh look! This handy contraption is supposed to (reading from sign) dry and straighten my hair when I touch it!

Katniss- (touches it, gets electrocuted)

Katniss- Never…trust…..a sign!


	15. Chapter 15

Buttercup

Primrose- (curling up) Come here Buttercup!

Katniss- (snorts) That stupid teabag? With his mashed in nose, half ear, and eye the color of rotting squash,

Primrose- (interrupting) You're wrong! He's so cute!

Katniss- Seriously? Just look at him!

*camera on Buttercup*

Buttercup- ME-OW! (sassy)


	16. Chapter 16

The Odds

Primrose- (crying)

Katniss- it's ok Prim! I highly doubt you'll get chosen. I mean, you're names only in there once! Seriously, it's not even fair. People like Gale and me have to sign up for that stupid tessarae, and here you get to be all la-di-da whatever I'm too special! It's injustice!

Prim- (horrified)

Katniss- but yeah, anyway, you won't get picked.

Prim- promise?

Katniss- Yeah, geez, promise. Now get off me, your little girly tears are staining my dress.

*Time pass, at the reaping*

Effie- Ladies and gentlemen,

Extra 6- which one are you?

Everyone in crowd- (laugh)

Effie- SHUT UP! (regains composure) Anyway, here we are at the annual reaping. It's surely an honor to be chosen, and to go die a horrible, painful death. Truly an honor. Mostly because everyone else will love you for biting the bullet. Anyway…on to picking this years tributes. Ladies first! (picks name) (reads) Primrose Everdeen!

Katniss- (laughing) Oh, man that's gotta suck! They're going to eat you alive! You won't make it five minutes!

Prim- (close to crying) You promised!

Katniss- I crossed my fingers! Geez, everyone knows you have to make sure nobody crosses fingers when they make promises1 I would have had time to teach you that rule, but looks like you're off to die! HA!

Prim- (walks forward to Effie)

Effie- AW COME ON! The tributes in this stinking district are so lame! No, no, you aren't going to be the tribute, ya little runt. I'm choosing another name! (dives for bowl) Katniss Everdeen! Get your butt up here! If you're as wimpy as this one here, I'll kill you both!

Katniss- AW MAN! (reluctantly walks up)

Effie- Ugh. It'll do.

Prim- (to Katniss0 Have fun dying sister! (smiling evilly)

Effie- Onto the boys! Let's make this fast, cause mama needs another shot! (picks name) (reads) Peeta Mellark! Up here NOW!

Peeta- (walks up)

Effie- Eh. Whatever. (shrugs) I present to you , District 12, your tributes for the seventy fourth hunger games!

Everyone in crowd- (silence)

Effie- I COMMAND YOU TO CHEER!

Everyone in crowd- WOOO WOOO GO PEETA AND KATNISS!

Effie- (smirking) That's more like it…

Haymitch- WOO! I'm DRUNK! YEAH! LOVE THIS! (falls off stage)

Extra 19-Little late for that now, Haymitch. In the book, by now this already happened. Way to screw it up.

Everyone in crowd- (agreeing)

Haymitch- (slurring) Whatevsies…


	17. Chapter 17

Cinna

Katniss- This? (hopefully holding up outfit)

Cinna- Well, the colors clash horribly. Oh, who am I kidding. Gag me with a spoon!

Katniss- This? (new outfit)

Cinna- Ugh! Where did you get that? The dollar store!

Katniss- Thiis? (another new outfit)

Cinna- (laughs weirdly for a minute, then) NO!

*montage of outfits and them being disapproved*

Katniss- (holds up stunning outfit)

Cinna- (looks pleased and hopeful)

Katniss- (smiles, relieved)

Cinna- HECK NO!


	18. Chapter 18

**Why, hello faithful reader! Didn't see you there….I would like to announce that I am pleased with the amount of reviews I received to this story….it surpassed my other stories (all 9 of them) put together (they were pitiful anyway, but who really cares!) **

**Special shout out to** **I_mourn_for_rue_and_mags, Just_Plain_Pain, and iheartligers. Also, to all the anonymous readers….who I know, but who really cares! ;) Anyway, to make sure this chapter doesn't break rules, and is only blah blah blah what the author's saying, I would like to say the next chapter is going to be called "Tribute Introduction" and you'll get to meet all the tributes from the 74****th**** Hunger Games….should be interesting **

**Also, I have another story up about the Hunger Games, but it's just changing up the lyrics to popular songs to fit the Hunger Games. More fun if you sing it aloud! Just saying…**

**Finally, I want to say that I'm open to ideas. Give me an idea, and I'll write it! (with a proper citing, of course!) Ok, so that's it. YAY! R&R!**

**-TheUnicornCorral**


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